The interests of a white straight male atheist.


The great big Thanatomorphose (2012) VS Contracted (2013) Debate!

Two body horror movies, both starring young women, both about sexuality, both about sex, both about a woman rotting from the inside out. What an odd niche in horror, the young woman rotting to death sub sub genre of body horror, but regardless here we are!

First lets talk about Thanatomorphose. This film is about a young woman, a little bit shy, a little bit beaten down by life and in a relationship with a complete asshole. One day the woman wakes up after a rough night of sex to find a bruise on her arm, then another on her face, followed by cuts and sores all over her body. Its not long until she is literally rotting away. And thats it, for 100 minutes we a assaulted with nothing but a smorgasbord of disgusting special effects and body fluids. And believe me, every disgusting ounce of human goo is on display here.

Now onto Contracted. A young woman with relationship problems attends a party, solo. She has a lot to drink and is raped by a mysterious man. She wakes up the next morning not knowing who it was and thinking it better to forget. That is until she starts to get sick. Thinking she caught a sexually transmitted disease she goes to the doctor but things only get worse. She bleeds from her eyes and vagina, her hair begins to fall out, her fingernails fall off and sores appear on her face. She is wasting away physically but also mentally as her sanity slips further and further away from her.

I had heard of Thanatomorphose months before I had a chance to see it. I was completely intrigued by the idea. To me it sounded like a completely original yet totally disgusting film. Contracted, I saw on a whim after I saw a GIF online. I went in blind without reading so much as a synopsis but the similarities to Thanatomorphose appeared almost immediately. So as to be expected when movies are so similar there are cries of “which is better?” and “rip off”!

For starters Thanatomorphose came first, just look at the years. Thanatomorphose came out in 2012 while Contracted 2013. Pretty cut and dry. Did the makers of Contracted see Thanatomorphose and rip it off? Or did they have it in pre production first? Or is the whole thing a giant coincidence? Who cares. I can’t possibly know behind the scenes stuff like that, the fact is both movies are here, both similar, there’s only a year between them so which is better?

Well rather than keep you in suspense as I weigh the pro’s and cons I’m just going to come out and say it. In my opinion Contracted is far superior in almost every way. I don’t care if it did blatantly copy Thanatomorphose. I don’t care if its makers saw Thanatomorphose and said “lets adapt (steal) this story”. It doesn’t matter because Contracted is a far superior movie.

Two thirds of Thanatomorphose’s 100 minute runtime is nothing but disgusting, albeit effective special effects and body fluids. The remaining third is……. well…… it’s not horrible but it’s character building scenes probably could have been edited out and not effected the movie a single bit. Basically the movie is a shallow special effects show. It does have some subtext about sexuality, loneliness and depression but it takes a radical back seat to maggots and body goo. Thanatomorphose is literally just 100 minutes of a woman rotting.

Contracted on the other hand takes what Thanatomorphose does and fleshes out the characters and the story and most of all what is actually happening to the poor girl. The subtext is close to that of Thanatomorphose but it is much better explored. The girl of Contracted is having some sort of internal struggle with her sexuality coupled with past issues and demons of drug abuse. These themes are smack bang in the centre rather than taking a back seat to horror and gore. The horror and gore and gross out goo is still there when the film needs it, there’s just a bit of substance to back it up!

Thanatomorphose’s acting is bad. It is clearly a lower budget film with less expensive unknown actors and it shows unfortunately. The lead girl is quite good at conveying pain and suffering until she has to deliver a line then her performance takes a dive very quickly. Thankfully for two thirds of the film barely a word is spoken but when there is dialogue the illusion is broken very quickly. Contracted on the other hand has pretty solid performances all around. Except for the British punk girl who had me endlessly rolling my eyes, but everyone else is good! Its the difference between real trained actors and some random of the street.

Of course as far as gore and special effects go Thanatomorphose wins hands down. The movie goes above and beyond and since this is all it really has going for 100 minutes I have to throw it a bone. Contracted’s special effects are not bad though, they are completely solid and used only when necessary. There is something to be said for showing restraint as far gore goes. If you show it enough, like Thanatomorphose does you either become desensitised to it or completely drained. Neither is ideal.

Contracted is not all perfect though. In Contracted the lead girl Samantha is infected after she is raped by a stranger at a party. There is talk of this man being wanted by the police all throughout the film but there is never a real conclusion to who he is or what he has really done before infecting Samantha. The opening seconds of the film allude to him having sex with a dead body but this isn’t really followed up on. In fact I didn’t make the connection that this was the man who raped Samantha until long after the credits had rolled. I would have liked to have known who this man was! Or maybe see him get what was coming to him. Still this brief explanation is better than Thanatomorphose’s “Its happening just ‘cause”.

*Warning spoilers* One thing both films have in common is their endings. They don’t really go anywhere. In Thanatomorphose there’s only one way the film can possibly end and that is with the woman suffering and literally falling apart. And this is what happens, she stops, the flesh literally falls from her bones, cut, the end and nothing is resolved. In Contracted Samantha spirals down further and further until she is finally lost, attacks her mother and the film cuts to credits. It is incredibly abrupt and I was quite taken a back by how sudden it was. It is the better ending though because although it is very sudden it feels like the start of something bigger. I get the feeling it ends at ground zero of the zombie apocalypse. I would have liked to see Contracted go on for just a little longer.

It may sound like I really didn’t enjoy Thanatomorphose when this isn’t true at all. I did enjoy it, I just may never watch it again. It is extremely slow paced, completely draining and is possibly the most bleak film I have ever seen. While an ok film, its not one to watch often. Contracted on the other hand is a bit more hollywood. It does have sub text and themes and some real drama yet is far too taboo to be mainstream. It still manages to be entertaining without making you feel like you’ve been emotionally destroyed. The acting is better, the characters better, there’s an actual story which is nice. It is filmed on film or at least digital made to look like film, Thanatomorphose looks like it was filmed on an iPhone. It shows and is very distracting.

In the end it doesn’t matter if Thanatomorphose got there first with its rotting girl story. Points for originality of course its just that Contracted did it far far better in almost every single area. There are lots of rip offs and adaptions in the film industry. The same stories are told time and time again and being the first to tell a story will only go so far. The quality of the film has to stand on its own.

Oh one last thing and this has no bearing on quality but as far as the titles go, I can at least pronounce “Contracted”. I’m still not sure how to pronounce “ Thanatomorphose” properly without sounding like a pre schooler on the first day of reading.

I feel contracted had the perfect ending. We were treated to a certain subgenre of horror all the way through until the last minute when the film does a switch and we realize that we have actually been watching a zombie film.
Not only that but a very unique one. I can’t think of any other film that concentrates so hard on showing us how an outbreak occurs instead of just, “Hey there are zombies everywhere. ”
In that light, the ending seems perfect to me and I was happy not seeing it go further because as horror fans we all know how outbreaks go.
Excellent blog though. I thought of doing a comparison of these movies also., but i will concede.

Probability and Intelligent Design

This will be my first blog so please bear with me if it is not to your liking.

I wanted to comment on something I heard on a Christian talk radio program briefly. A supporter had called in and had read some of his son’s Biology text book. What he got out of part of the book was that the way our brain is constructed is so mindbolingly rare that it is impossible that it could have happened exactly that way naturally simply by chance. He used the words, “trillions and trillions” to describe the odds. I wish that I knew exactly what he said. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the name of the program.

Now I understand that when people use probability to describe or thwart natural processes like Evolution, then the don’t really fully understand the process to start with. That isn’t really the point I want to make today though.

What the caller or the textbook fail to realize is that even though the current configuration my seem rare, it isn’t necessarily any rarer than some other configuration of our brain. It just happens to be the one we have. Also the fact that we have any brain configuration is much higher odds than the caller is stating, again assuming that we should be placing odds on this kind of thing to start with.
And I would like to illustrate my point with….

A DECK OF CARDS (as one does.)

So lets imagine a very rare scenario…

Suppose that you hold a deck of cards that has been sufficiently randomized (shuffeled well) and you proceed to flip over the top five cards (as one usually does with cards). Now suppose that the cards that you flip over are in order.

A(s), K(s), Q(s), J(s) and 10(s), where (s) means “spades”.

This is a very valuable hand in quite a few cards games. Not only is it the highest poker hand without wild cards but is it specifically spades and the cards appeared in decending order. A very rare event indeed. In fact the odds of this occuring is:

1 out of 52x51x50x49x48 or 1 out of 311875200.

Now lets do this experiment again only now suppose that the five cards that you flip over are in order:

4(s), 2(d), 9(d), 5(c), J(d)

Off hand, I don’t know of any card games where this is a valuable hand. So what is the probability of this happening?

1 out of 311875200.

It is the same odds as the valuable hand. In fact any five cards you flip over in a randomized deck has the same odds of appearing in a certain order. Probability doesn’t care if you place more value of certain hands.

But this is what our caller was doing; indeed quite a few creationists do the same. He was giving extra value to the current configuration of our brain because it is the only configuration that he knew of but probability doesn’t care. Maybe we could have had 12000 nurons in our brain instead of 400000 (obviously I know nothing of brain anatomy).This doesn’t mean that it is any more or less likely. It just happens to be the one we have.

This type of argument is made even without using numbers. A you-tube commentor at one point said that our teeth are specially designed the proper way for us to eat our food. This argument fails of course when you realize that if our teeth were significantly different today then we would likely just be eating different things. Probability has nothing to do with this.

I apologize for not having quotes or links. Please feel free to comment or troll if that is your thing. And let me know how my first blog went :)


thought of this, can’t stop laughing at work


thought of this, can’t stop laughing at work



CollegeHumor Exclusive: "Weird Al" Yankovic Music Video: FOIL (Parody of "Royals" by Lorde)

Like any budding comedy lovers with a boom box or basic cable, we grew up loving Weird Al Yankovic. So when he asked us to help him make the music video for “Foil” (a parody of “Royals”) off Al’s new album, Mandatory Fun, we agreed. Actually, we high-fived each other, threw up from excitement, composed ourselves and agreed.

Over a few marvelous weeks in February and March, our writers and producers worked with Al to bring his “Foil” video to life. Here is the result in all its Yankovician magnificence, featuring cameos from Patton Oswalt, Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, as well as CH alumni Elaine Carroll and Andrée Vermeulen.

See behind-the-scenes photos here.

Weird Al is my hero. Being in a music video with him is pretty much everything I ever wanted.

You totes deserve it.


On this Canada Day please remember that a strong sense of patriotism will block brainwashing by Cybermen.

Hey there! :) Do you know anyone who could play a 10-12 year old brunette tomboy, and she's energetic, athletic, loud, and a tiny bit self centered?


Joey King (14) would be perfect for what your describing. If you use her younger gifs then she’ll fit to a T. If you’d like others, just let me know.


And here come the angry posts.


007. Yajilin #1.
Does the way I put the arrows in the background look strange to anyone else?

Looks good to me.


007. Yajilin #1.

Does the way I put the arrows in the background look strange to anyone else?

Looks good to me.


Untitled on We Heart It -

Lets make this a popular icebreaker now.


Untitled on We Heart It -

Lets make this a popular icebreaker now.


I’ve just watched The Red Wedding.

I am not okay.

Don’t worry it gets better hahaha.


Dear Walking Dead fandom, R R Martin fans kept the Red Wedding a secret for a long time. Don’t be assholes.